From Independence to Outside Influence
The 1960s changed how children were raised and how they perceived the world, contributing to their emotional resilience. Research by Jean Twenge finds that between 1960 and 2002, the average young person became more externally oriented, with eighty percent scoring higher on external measures of control by 2002. This trend coincides with rising rates of anxiety and depression among young people. Twenge documents a shift in “locus of control” toward believing outside forces, rather than one’s own choices, shape life. That shift is relevant to mental health because a sense of personal agency helps protect against mental illness.
What the Past Shows: Autonomy and Emotional Challenges
Looking back at earlier generations, such as the author’s father who grew up in a working-class area near Manchester, helps explain how earlier social norms fostered resilience. With a more hands-off parenting style, children walked to school alone and engaged in independent play, which fostered resilience. As Peter Gray of Boston College said in an NPR interview, “When adults constantly supervise and intervene, children never get the chance to develop those skills for themselves.”
However, emotional independence in the 1960s also had downsides. Emotional expression was often discouraged and mental health was stigmatized. Children were expected to deal with their problems, sometimes at the expense of emotional well-being. Gray says this lack of emotional processing delayed “first real emotional storms” until later in life, reducing the time available to learn coping skills.
How Childhood Became an Accidental Training Ground
In the 1960s, parents unintentionally created an “accidental training ground” by allowing unsupervised play, which helped build character. Still, the decade wasn’t perfect: emotional suppression and limited support systems were real problems, which shows the need to balance protecting emotional health with fostering independence.
Building Resilience Today
Building children’s resilience is important given trends toward overprotection, highlighting the need for balanced parenting styles. The concept of “distress tolerance”, the ability to sit with unpleasant feelings without immediate relief, remains relevant. Gray notes that play teaches negotiation, self-direction, and emotional regulation. This suggests that allowing children to face small challenges on their own helps them grow stronger.
Building resilience requires deliberate strategies. That includes resisting the impulse to remove every difficulty and letting small problems play out. Encouraging children to trust their ability to handle what comes next nurtures independence and equips them with resilience for contemporary life.
